Confession. In English.

Oh dear. It's confession day. I have become one of "those people". So I was shopping (of course) and have been easing into using the dressing rooms (I was afraid they would be the supervised kind that I'd have to ask to be let into). So I was feeling pretty good about myself. I had successfully gone through three dressing room people. Basically I was feeling invincible. German? Piece of cake. Then I got to the cash register (which I had also worked up to and is normally not a problem) and a horrible thing happened. The woman said something to me other than the price and asking whether I want I receipt. I tried to stay calm and coolly say "Bitte?" as if I just didn't hear her the first time. But I still had no idea what she was asking me. Then, of all times that I needed it to, the "I'm just an American and am terrified of the fact that you're speaking German to me. Please speak English" look didn't work! I know, I know. I shouldn't have wanted her to speak English. Shame on me. But really. So I did what any immigrant would do: nod and say "ja". I'm pretty sure she asked if I had tried it on to make sure it was the right size. But whether that's right or not, she gave me the bag and I got the heck out of there. And here I am now- a yes-saying, head nodder.

Anyway, to continue with the evening, I went to a mall and as I ascended the escalator, I was greeted by two shirtless men in lifeguard shorts. Oh my. Then, that magic moment came. They said "Hey. What's up!" And in that magic moment I couldn't care less that they were half naked. They could be wearing nightgowns. But they were going to speak English to me! Re-shame on me. Then they handed me a flier for some event and proceeded in German to tell me to come. Then I remembered. The new Hollister had just opened. Or maybe it was about to open and that's what the fliers were for... hm... that would make more sense. Either way, I knew they worked for Hollister and actually remembered hearing that in the interview applicants had to say "welcome to the pier" apparently to judge the convincingness of their American accent. However, the most prominent thought in my mind was how ironic it is that they're trying to be American, however, I'm quite certain that employees cannot be half naked in the mall in the US. Posters: yes. Live people: no. No shirt, no shoes, no service? Anyone?

I'm not sayin'; I'm just sayin'.