Hygiene Gone Awry

I like soap. I like washing my hands. I like being clean. But what to do when hand-washing goes south? You lean into a wet sink... The soap squirts straight out, bypassing your hand and hitting either your pants or shirt head-on... There's no towel and you have to use your clothes or be the yucky wet-handed person... These are the moments in life when all you can do is sigh and think "Why me?" Wet is wet and there's nothing you can do about it. Paper towels will only leave follicles in your clothes. Cloth towels will do jack squat, and an air dryer is an slow and tedious solution involving awkward positions and no guarantee for success. And soap? Well that's a different story. Do you leave it? Hopefully it doesn't leave a dark mark. Or do you try to rinse it out? That never seems to work. It only spreads the soap and leaves you wetter than either of the other two situations. These are inevitable trials of life and the convenience of indoor plumbing.

I'm not sayin'; I'm just sayin'.